The Kalopsian Wave

(spoilers incoming)

Last year I watched  I Saw The TV Glow for the first time.

The main character Owen lives in the real world, and his friend Maddy runs away for years until she mysteriously returns in adulthood. She tells him she has been living in the TV show land they both were obsessed with as teens, and needs him to come back and help her defeat Mr. Melancholy once and for all. Mr. Melancholy wants them to forget about their magical powers. Owen refuses to go into the TV world and lives the rest of his life unrealized and lost. (I’m ellipsing though A LOT but that is the general plot)

This reminds me of another favorite movie of mine; The Last Unicorn– where the last unicorn is turned into a woman to be protected from the Red Bull, a nefarious force controlled by an evil King Haggard wishing to capture every last Unicorn.  In both films each protagonist protects themselves by concealing their true magical nature until they forget their true selves inside their mundane forms.

Lady Amalthea forgets her desire to find her unicorn sisters and resigns herself to her assigned role of loving and marrying prince Lir. Her memories of being a unicorn slip away; she was once extraordinary and is now just a beautiful maiden. In I Saw the TV Glow, Owen works in an arcade, has a family, grows old, never actualizing his true nature. (I know the movie is intended to be a trans allegory, I find the angle I am coming at applicable too) 

I Saw The TV Glow is if The Last Unicorn didn’t have a happy ending. 

Owen screams in one of the final scenes of I Saw The TV Glow, ripped with regret towards the unfulfilling life he has lived. 

It reminds me of one of Unicorn’s quotes: “I have been mortal, and some part of me is mortal yet. I am full of tears and hunger and the fear of death, although I cannot weep, and I want nothing, and I cannot die. I am not like the others now, for no unicorn was ever born who could regret, but I do. I regret.

I have been thinking about these movies constantly this past year. The Last Unicorn, to me, is about the men a girl will come across when entering into adulthood, and is also an allegory for youthful feminine wisdom and innocence being disguised until you have forgotten yourself. Slipping into the “problem without a name.” Losing yourself under the patriarchy. 

Mr. Melancholy and Haggard are similar villains, but differ with this one quality: Haggard wants to possess all the unicorns- he wants to possess pure, immortal innocence and selfishly keep it for himself. While Mr. Melancholy would have rather preferred Amalthea to stay a woman, slowly forgetting herself and marrying Lir. 

The song Chosen to Deserve reminds me of The Last Unicorn. There is a part where the unicorn says that those who don’t know who she is just see her as a beautiful white mayor. This circles back to skeleton woman.. He has no idea what treasure is in front of him. 

I feel like The Unicorn when treated disgustingly or spoken to in a debasing manner. It hurts to not be seen for what you are, or having someone resign their desire towards you only at the surface level. 

After not being seen as a unicorn for a long time, this may turn you into Amalthea. Accepting whatever attention is thrown your way, because that is your role to play, even if it is repulsive… Eventually believing that’s what you deserve.

A risk when you become Amalthea is allowing someone undeserving to reign dominion over you. This is when you lose yourself- when even a good man like Lir can come along, where you accept his love because you think you should, not because you actually love him back. You could love him truly if you first knew and loved yourself.

The Last Unicorn is the only one who knows regret. 

I watched this movie over and over growing up, until my parents finally threw away my DVD because they were so sick of me playing it. I think that is why it has shaped me so much, and I find so much substance in the plot of a movie.

It is very important to me and I find a lot of significance in it. I have only been snagged by one King Haggard in my life, and when I tried to show this movie to him he said “Renee, I think Hunter S. beagle just likes unicorns. You’re reading way too much into it.” 

God forbid a girl finds significance in a piece of media.

In 2019 I wrote a poem inspired by these themes I have been talking about- specifically the corruption and odious behavior that is inflicted upon the unicorns of the world. It has been on my mind a lot so I will share this poem with you now. If you think it’s cringy, whatever! Just don’t read it.

BARF OF VENUS

Adorned with rose petals is she,

 like a wandering light,

 or a gentle touch.

 The woman of beauty is born of the sea.

But truly, loneliness is a stronger force than that.

Find her now at your parties,

fitted in a cheap dress

the looks are free but, at what cost? 

Botticelli never could have seen this coming. 

And every Saturday night,

You can find her in a dim stall, 

head in a toilet bowl.

Honey gold locks matted with the filth fed to her.

And what could the vomit of a god look like?

For her, it must be candy pink,

or it sparkle like elixir.

 but no, 

it looks exactly

like everyone else’s.