Colloquialism this morning harnessing my sheets soaking wet, it worked to put out the fire for just a little while. I have to get out of here, it would be so easy to sever. Gravity keeps me to this planet. I want to go to Mars, but what if I deflate and I die within seconds? Come with me so I could use the air from your nostrils.
Why won’t anyone listen to me? I don’t want to throw a tantrum but I think my ideas are undeniably infallible and straightforward. Is it because I’m a girl? Is it because of how I dress? My age? What doesn’t make sense about what I said? Someone give me a big hammer or a shovel and I’ll build this from the ground up myself. Anything would be better than this bullshit.
I want to have kids so I could give them a twin sized bed just like I had and paint their walls lilac. I wanted so much then, I wanted to be read to and to be drawn up into my mother’s lap as she crochets my cocoon. The weed I blossomed into was just a seed at this time, not the kind to reach out to the fields, but to overtake a manor as a phthalo blanket to choke out the sun.
Get. Me. Out. Of. Here.
I am not native to this ecosystem, I don’t want to be invasive, I would do anything to not be this way, I want to go back home or I wish I was never born, that would solve a lot. There is a logical fallacy about keeping knowledge from the people because knowing the truth would hurt the common good. I think we are what we eat, and every cell must be individually healthy to have a working whole. Just let me pick the goddamn paint color and accept that I know more than you about this, accept that I wouldn’t say this without an educated opinion. How dare you damn me to a world so ugly.
I wish my dad had a weird purple car to give me at 18. My Narnia has piss in the snow and a fluorescent bulb in its lamp post. Spikes at the top so the pigeons don’t perch.
God I hate it here, social amputation. Did we forget about the Twenty First Century? This is supposed to be the place to be. Stop trying to unclog your dab pen and grab a bucket, this life boat is sinking, oh God, is the future of humanity left up to us? Bro we’re cooked, we’re so chopped. This isn’t funny! I didn’t know I was supposed to go to the gynecologist once a year until just now. I don’t even know how to use correct punctuation or spell the word “business.”
Why can’t I do anything cool here? Why won’t someone come play with me? Pretty soon I won’t be able to see the sun. I need a summer vacation. Worked up into such a lather at the end of the day I just want to be happy I just want to be happy I just want to be happy. In bed by 9 for my bad behavior. Nothing works, ever.
It’s like the movie was finally starting to get good only to pause it and see that there was only 15 minutes left. Why didn’t anyone tell me? Why didn’t anyone warn me about what to look out for?
I’ll “because I said so” my way down to purgatory, the only words I was taught. Traded my map for a scented candle for your fundraiser, didn’t know it was by the mile. Teach me how to use a compass? What am I supposed to value? Pay for me to go to school and learn about everything, somewhere foggy where a murder mystery could happen.
I’ll just brush my hair and go to bed with it wet, staring at the go-away grey dyed stars
damn, they got the stars too
“We just had to pick something more neutral for the next generation.”
When did we stop being human beings?
The Kalopsian Wave 
Leave a comment