The Kalopsian Wave

What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.

This prompt is funny because I have been thinking about the concept of failure a lot. I don’t think success is defined by anyone but yourself, so it’s important to be level headed and have an even perception of yourself- too many Don Quixotes in the world.

I had a family member tell me about distant cousin who moved to Hollywood at 18 and waitressed while she was trying to get acting gigs. She never got a role, but she still lives there 30 years later, waitressing and happily living in a trailer. At the time I was horrified to hear about what her life had become, but now I am so happy for her; she figured it out.
Some of my favorite artists have faced a period of their life where they accept they may never be successful in their art, and this is necessary to achieve success. Just like that saying where the second you stop looking for love you’ll find it.

Lana Del Rey is a good example. She wrote Video Games when she was living with her loser boyfriend, she gave up on her dreams at this time and made peace with the fact she may never be successful, because in that moment she was content in her life just watching him play Video Games. I love the song White Dress from her too because it’s her reflecting on this period of her life after she has already achieved her dreams. Authentic artists let themselves grow and make mistakes and try new things even if people hate their stuff. Lana’s infamous SNL performance made her the laughing stock of the music industry but I see it as a statement just as big as Nirvana pretending to play their instruments on Top of the Pops, a situation where they were forced to pretend to play to a track so they did the opposite. Lots of people copy Nirvana but miss the point of Nirvana… Nirvana was Nirvana because they were trailblazing innovators, and imitation of their literal actions is not titillating or thought provoking, reminiscent of a baby banging away on an unplugged computer keyboard to mimic their parent typing on a computer. Only the action mimicked not the motivation.

I think punk comes in many forms and punk is only born from authenticity and refusing to conform when someone tells you that you being you is wrong. Punk is innovative and sends a focused message. Punk is an idea, not an aesthetic.

I think it’s punk rock to not be onery and defiant just for the sake of it, but I do think it is punk to be discerning and unwavering in your beliefs and art despite any criticism.

In my opinion Lana Del Rey achieved success when she wrote Video Games. Not when she released it, not even when she recorded it… She became successful in that moment because she made art simply for the sake of making art.

Lana has done some punk stuff in my opinion, I look up to her in many ways as a female artist, and I’m not mad that she is a huge pop star because she never claimed to be a punk, which is even cooler. She is just herself. I wouldn’t claim to be a punk. I am the pipe, not the representation of it. Ceci n’est pas une pipe.

The Treachery of Images

All this being said, the question was

What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail?

In the past I would say being a good wife or painter or actress or artist in some type of way, but now I don’t serve the art or my dreams, it serves me. I feel so smug because all I want to do is be happy and I know that no matter what I’ll do I’ll succeed, even if I die in Old Paul’s… This is my idea of fun… playing video games. I just want to make art and do my thing and not be afraid to reach higher than I believe I’m capable of because… why not? I can make art that never gets me money or fame or recognition. I’ll just make it to make me proud and that is literally the only thing that matters. Once I started thinking like this I think I’ve made the best art of my entire life. Even if people can’t explain why they like something it is because they appreciate the authenticity. Hating the concept of an art piece is a compliment too because it means some authentic point made in the work has shaken the thoughts of someone who doesn’t think like you. This is what I mean by not being onery— simply existing and presenting your truth will offend people enough. I don’t think making all of your art out of spite is good… Maybe a little spite is warranted but it’s just like falling for rage-bait. Don’t waste your time arguing with someone who doesn’t get it but it’s OK to get the occasional little dig in.

Lots of unmotivated people understand this and live their lives being a stoner scrolling TikTok even if they are brilliant and I’m happy for them. They are living the life they want to and they are happy.

I have seen the other side, though, those who have ambitions but define their success by gauging themselves to others, so they become stoners who scroll TikTok and are incredibly unhappy. To these people I say wake up and live the life you know you need! You have to do things that feed your soul. My thoughts are so complicated on this, I don’t want to be here all day. BJ Novak has a great story about this called The Ambulance Driver.

In a nutshell I think everyone should look inwardly to their own ambitions and take steps to their goals and never compare themselves to others. As long as you are happy you are successful. Thats it.

(Also I would attempt trapeze if I was guaranteed not to fail)